A Trip To The Library

   I am really good at telling my wife how ignorant I am..."24000 people looked at my blog", I said
   She said  "You old fool, If you do a Google search for "poop" or "pipes" your blathering bullshit comes right up."

Shit.
So much for fame
     I'm roaming around the house, don't do this, can't do that
There's a leak left in the roof I didn't get to yet, around the old brick chimney
I gotta paint the wood, all of it everywhere, I gotta have help with that stuff even when I  wasn't necked up
before the Oregonian hurricanes begin....nope, nope ,nope,not me not now
  I will not pay someone to do what I can do, I ain't got the bread and I ain't going to either
Jesus Christ what the fuck is going to happen to me? I'm going to pop, spontaneously combust

   I got a concussion too, of course
so I heard Jeffrey St. Claire died  and I didn't even remember who he was
 He sounded interesting so I got to this absolutely uptown high class library here after the pain management guys  yesterday
I had to have a chaperone, Jess will not let me go out wandering without a sitter
 and I found his name in the catalog and wrote the location down then went up there and  got a book he wrote
I can still work the library
and then, the light began to shine
 I've read articles and books he wrote twenty, thirty years ago, with Alexander Cockburn and alone for Bruce Andersons  Anderson Valley Advertiser, one of the all time world class right on the money crazy ass radical publications ever published anywhere anytime, The Nation,etc,etc..

     It all came back to me, I got "Grand Theft Pentagon" without a comment about the deal my brain reacquired
                                               because if I said anything I'd get knowing glances, people would look smug and nudge each other and bob their sainted heads,
"He's coming back, but he still ain't right"

I ain't never been right
I can keep the bullshit down by being quiet
But I can't sneak up on the roof clandestinely
Maybe at night when they're all sleeping
Maybe the bats will throw in with me
Motherfucker.