I didn't make one single fucking resolution. I was ready for the Mayan collapse, so I never even thought about it. I figured it was pretty good intelligence we got for their end of their calendar being the day because of some pretty cool movies I watched about them, murderous motherfuckers that they were,the Mayans.
   Some dude took a charter fishing boat out to some island off the coast of Chile and found an ancient Mayan statue that had a line up with the planet thing they had together is what got me this time. It was where no Mayan shit had ever been detected before.
                      I have been ready for the end of the world since I started finding out about all the cataclysyms we already had. Odds were good for that day because why else would they stop their seventy four million year calender, exact as Switzerland, fuck it  off the 21st of December, last year? Plus its as good as any other one we ever had or ever will....end of the world predictions that is.

   I think it was Jim Morrison who said the future is uncertain and the end is always near

    They had alien tools too. Maybe Morrison did too, but definitely those civilizations down in South and Central America had aliens with tools hanging out with them. I've seen the rocks and you have to use lasers or incredibly dedicated high pressure sand or water saws, plasma shit like they found under the September Eleven buildings, pushed through something so hard the cutting shit wouldn't cut it at some kind of mad dog PSI that we didn't get together until somewhere back in the forties or fifties.  But...no wheels, what the fuck. No wagons, no carts, no wheels. A bad time for laborers and slaves, all that masonry and no trucks or pulleys or anything round to move rocks around with and on. If you want to be civilized now you have to have wheels, but no one down there ever watched an ant roll a bug around or ever rolled anything down a hill and had an ah ha experience. That is fucking strange, maybe round shit had bad juju on it back then, who knows?

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                   They cut rocks and built shit with them with seams so tight everyone ooohs and awwws about it. It looks like they could prove to angry gods they were throwing virgins into their volcanoes just for them and cutting up special tribe members on top of the huge pyramids they built when the doctors said to.,,, thereby appeasing the gods that were concerned with whatever event they had in motion that time. I've been watching "Dexter" on showtime so now I wonder what their record for virgin tossing and heart removals they had for a day?
  We never figured out how to do any of that shit, god appeasals, and we're civilised amerikans with cars and hot fudge machines you can get.
  My kid says if they were so sharp, why did they put up with the Spanish Catholics and their funny ideas, and get wiped out by whatever shit they caught from them and the rats that made it to shore with fleas and mites brimming with disease.
      Smartass kid. Asked me tonight how I know what I know since he doesn't know either. He says he may be a lawyer. Goddam. He'll be the first one of those in our lineage that I ever heard of.


Well anyway, gung hay fat choy and so much for the Mayans astrology lesson.
I may have a pretty good idea for us regular people though, for the new year and the rest of the years coming up, find out what Ralph Nader says to do and then do it so all the rats and alien weasels posing as public servants in DC and London and everywhere else lose their fucking jobs and make their world end.
 Yep. Just that.