One of my neighbors is a cool guy. We're friends. We both like donuts and bacon for breakfast. He still likes to drink all the time. I found one of his friends wandering around with bottles of beer hanging out of his pockets at four thirty this morning when the hounds dragged me out for their "after the cats" romp.
I didn't know they were friends, this guy and my neighbor, at first. I thought maybe this guy was trouble. He was trying to get away from the dogs, who had him surrounded, but he was way too shitfaced to manage it. They were just hoping for dog biscuits or meaty treats,but I didn't tell him about that.
I asked him what the fuck he was doing wandering around here for. He said he was a friend of my neighbors. He had a key to the pad he said, but it wouldn't work. He knew the right name and had a plausible drunken story. I told him he'd better get lost before someone else found him and called the cops.
Me and my hounds headed off into the cat hunting area and there was some action but no captures, like always. When we got back the drunk guy was rattling my back gate. "Thats my place" I told him, "If you fucking scare my kid and old lady you'll wish the cops were coming." He apologised, he thought it was his friends gate. "You're five doors off, man. Why don't you just ring his doorbell?" "They're passed out. They won't wake up. I'm fucked, the cops will get me."
He offered me a beer. My heart went back to it's right place. " Hold on, let me put the dogs in the yard, be quiet, it's five fucking thirty in the morning." I led him back out front and got the key from him and tried it. It worked on the bottom lock but didn't work on the deadbolt.
Shit. "Look, I'll get you in his back yard and open the slider for you, be quiet." So. I did that. The guys sleeping on the floor in the living room woke up, the result of my "shake the lock open" technique for opening sliding glass doors and Als dog going apeshit. They were too fucking drunk to get up and hug and smooch the new arrival but everyone was glad to see him, he sat down in the pile of them, they'd lost him earlier ,one other guy is still missing, did I want a beer? Buddy the dog was slobbering on me and pushing me around, glad I stopped by.
"No thanks, it's way too early for me. I got too much on the list to start drinking yet." "How much shit do you have to do? Come on back later, man."
"I have to become a linebacker for the New England Patriots first. It'll probably take some time. I gotta go fellas, nice to meet you. Al, you want me to take Buddy out to piss and take a crap?"
Al was already back to his nap so I took Buddy out with me. I got the other hounds back out and they all hauled ass back down to the school in the rain. Dogs don't seem to mind the rain. They found something up in a tree, but they couldn't get it, just like always. I had to pick up four more piles of crap, how can dogs crap so much?
Buddy's with us today, he's asleep too, just like my friends over at Als place. He had a great breakfast and we're going to the river this afternoon. He's a happy dog, like ours are.
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