What I am going through

 This giant asshole of a cat has appeared here, he's been here a while now, someone saw us taking care of cats around our place and just left him outside, there are a lot of reasons that someone would do that, this must have been some kind of mercy move I bet, the cat is huge, well...big..14 pounds and he has a big mouth, follows us around yelling and complaining and...big and fucking mean...he fights......he's limping and bitching around..but...he still wants to go out...Someone around here might shoot him if he fucks with the wrong people, rednecks won't stand for it.

Every male animal that comes over here that ain't human gets greeted by this furious hunk of claw and tooth muscle, he uses it all. The other night he showed up and looked like he had got hit by a car and the car went to the hospital... no kidding

So...they didn't want him anymore, he is trouble, he will fight anything, he's always outside, wandering around, looking for something to do, talks all the time, He has the biggest mouth I have ever seen in a cat, yowley as hell, for the hell of it, like a fucking rooster crowing all the time...

But, when I pick him up, he purrs like a train and snuggles into my chest like he has been offered tuna fish in my shirt, he's a big fuckin baby...

We call him Dexter, after the guy who killed all his competition on TV. He makes everyone nervous, I got him calmed down by half since he got here, but I booted/pushed with a fast foot right the fuck out of here, screaming and spitting like a banshee I kicked his furious white killer ass out the door twice so far, he comes back and tries to act like it's all cool but it's not.

He doesn't like using a cat box or getting locked up for the night in the basement. No chip,  fat, he had been well cared for, he was clean and scared when he found us, I do not have any idea where he came from, no chip, we checked, maybe fixed, maybe not, hard to check on it, he's sensitive.

He likes us. 

******************************I wrote that about 5 weeks ago, while I was writing it, Dexter jumped up on the table, whacked another cat sleeping up there, and started another rumble and I lost my train of thought as I had to go referee the beef, 

He is still here, and so am I, my wife is iffy, if the cat doesn't shut up," I will do it, I will" she says, I know the tone, life is cheap in the cat world over here, could go short, maybe longer, but it's going some fucking where if she decides and there is nothing I can do. 

Before the dogcatcher can get another idea of real justice from Rudy Giuliani, Jess will have drop-kicked Dexter into the Willamette River or, at least, the Tualatin which is right down the street, easy access, and within walking distance.

Dexter though, as of three days ago, his life changed. His reproduction days are all over, he may lose that deep growl and, this is the whole point, even if he goes now, he goes civilized and he won't go die for love anyway, he might find something else, he may just like to fight without the fucking anymore, I can see it working  I have seen it work out before, but him??....well...I am interested in his behavior once I let him back out and he's off the painkillers.

SO FAR

He had fleas bad, ear mites, bad...giant rumbling balls that drove him to the Devil's Business, according to my step-grandmother sex is just that, the Devil's Business. My friend Johnny Beyond had his cat Stumpy fixed and poor ol' Stump committed suicide, he had crossed the same quiet residential Rockridge street in peace-loving Berkeley five thousand times and never had a problem,.... got his nuts removed and it just wasn't worth it anymore. Layed it down in front of a big moving car, instant.

Dex is a sex addict....me too, but I am going to live,  and so is ol' Dexter now, he's still on dope from surgery so he sleeps in his box downstairs all the time, I understand now why people slip mickeys to kids to put them to sleep when they won't co-operate. I am to keep him warm, clean, dry, and medicated for five days, and don't let him lick the stitches and don't you do it either. 

Day one, home from the hospital...loaded, sleepy...hungry, they said no food for 12 hours, just a little water...

He was wobbly. He was yelling. He was hungry." If he eats, he might puke" I gave him a spoonful of milk, and he didn't puke, I fixed him some tuna fish with soft crunchies he likes and some DynaVite for his vitamins and a hit of the pain shit that he sleeps behind for as much as five hours.

He inhaled it, did not puke, and went to sleep. He got up, escaped,

and then came back four hours later, looked like he fought a dog, he was bleeding and had one whole side of himself covered in shit, dog variety I believe.

 I cleaned him up.

 He will not leave the basement now until his nut cut is healed and his stitches are cool.

 I do not give a shit how much he yells, he's staying in until Monday. 

Not me though, I have to go to work.