I started out on the wrong side of raffle ticket sales, the old pain in the ass guy bothering people. No motherfucking dice, leave me alone shitheel, was the vibe that usually came through. In utter despair I asked the Big Wazoo what should I do? "Give the tickets to Kelsey and Melissa to sell" was the message. They're two stylin' knockout young ladies with poise and confidence. I got that set up and we made a bunch of money. I sat at a table while the deals went down, sipping my coke and smiling. The Big Wazoo always comes through.
Since I've learned a new skill I'll have to adjust my resume to include raffle ticket hustling motherfucker.
I spend money I don't have buying crap I can't afford just so I can make pretty young women smile at me. I swear, when I was younger I drove a harder bargain. I think back then again I was hoping to get laid. Now I'm an old guy and I just want to enjoy the vicarious pleasure of youth and beauty. I feel like a fucking vampire but I'm willing to pay.
ReplyDeleteAtta Boy, Jon. Me too. We're lucky we lived long enough to enjoy our old age.
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